Day 4: What Hides in the Dark by Macy Bargen

Today opened my eyes. We packed up at the hotel back in Hilo and visited many landmarks before reaching the Preparatory, where we would stay for the rest of our visit. On our way, we stopped by the Rainbow Falls hoping to see a rainbow, but hearing the beautiful sounds from the crashing water instead. Next, we visited the Boiling Pots. We learned that if we had come earlier, the rain would hit the pools of water, causing the illusion of water boiling. Finally, the twenty of us climbed back into the vans, eager to get to the main attraction: the Kaumana Caves.

When we first got there, we noticed the Banyan trees. Sonya explained that the wild chickens sometimes climb up and rest in this tree. I was already intrigued, which exemplified my desire to know more about the ecosystem surrounding me. I first noticed the smell when we finally made it down into the caves. The air was cleaner, but the rain still lingered. As I noticed my surroundings using my senses, my group and I began to explore the cave. The farther we ventured into the cave, the more difficult it became to keep going. The slippery rocks with jagged edges taunted me to fall. Although I had fallen several times, everyone helped me back up and encouraged me to keep going. I have difficulty trusting people, and those around me must earn my trust before my walls can come down. Like an onion, I have many layers, and a new piece is revealed with each new layer peeled away. At this moment, I knew I could trust the people around me, such as friends. Most of the group had turned back, leaving 6 of us at the end of the cave. We sat with our phones off in complete darkness to savor the cave's beauty. During this, I had to trust that my group would not leave me in the cave, and I had to trust that if I got stuck and needed help, they would help me. I became closer with the people I experienced this with more than anybody else.

When we arrived at the Preparatory Academy, we all unpacked and relaxed until our trust circle later that night. I went into the activity very close-minded and thinking I wouldn't cry or find anything surprising from a bunch of strangers. The first person to share was Susan. Hearing the emotion in her voice made my heart break for her. We took a personality type quiz the day before, and I found I was yellow. To be yellow means I am seen as emotional or sensitive, and that part of me showed through during this activity. As more and more people went, I heard many stories, many of which I could relate to. As my turn grew near, I racked my brain for a story to tell to let everyone know a larger piece of me. Still, only knowing these people for less than a week, I let my trust issues get the better of me, and I could talk about more personal topics. I am slowly learning to trust people and increasingly come out of my shell with small-group activities such as the trust circle.

Overall, this day was the most impactful for me due to the eye-opening experiences, and I wouldn't change anything. For instance, even after we had all shed tears and shared our personal secrets, no one saw anyone differently. We sang karaoke and had fun just the same. I realized I am not the only one going through difficult times and can rely on people around me for comfort.